On Sunday, January 7th 1:01AM and half way through my third glass of wine, I finished reading “Fire and Fury: Inside the Trump White House”, a salacious 300-page book / gossip column replete with scandalous quotes, wild plots, wtf moments, and yes shade so magnificent you’ll need eclipse glasses for some passages.

When the initial excerpts were published on Bomb Cyclone Wednesday in New York Magazine and the Hollywood Reporter, I knew there was no better way to keep warm during single digit weather than with scalding hot, fresh tea from the White House.

I commend the author, Michael Wolff for its Game of Thrones’-esque feel. “Fire and Fury: Nuclear Winter is Coming.” 

And for helping our very stable genius president find reason to proclaim he is like, really smart.

First of, if you haven't read Fire and Fury (and want to), I highly recommend a glass of wine. It's almost a requirement to read about Trump and the army of sycophants that comprise his administration. Second, expect to be stressed by the trials and tribulations that arise when incompetence orbits incompetence in a galaxy of incompetence. The White House is a tragedy of cosmic scale. 

The American President is messy, petty, and lives for the drama. Anyone with access to Twitter, a television, or just one of their five senses knows this. In Fire and Fury, we learn that people across the political spectrum, employees from all branches of government, and 45’s family and closest friends believe he is dangerously unfit for the office.  25th Amendment unfit.  And yet, like a post-apocalyptic cockroach, he persists.

Why? Three reasons.

1. White men’s nine lives matter

No one illustrates this point better than Donald Trump. As a presidential candidate, Trump demonstrated no working knowledge of history, government, or current affairs. He supported violence at campaign rallies, he mocked the disabled, he was openly every -ist and -ic a liberal arts major from Snowflake College could imagine. He lied a little, he lied bigly, he lied a lot. He was caught on tape bragging about sexual assault. 

And despite (or because of) this, on November 9th 2016, he was elected as the 45th President of the United States.

In Fire and Fury, you are introduced to a man-child that the “dishonest" media has been covering daily for almost 3 years. But now the cloak of civility has been dropped. The jig is up. And Trump is exposed for exactly who he is - an emperor with no clue. More precisely, he is deeply insecure, semi-literate (or post-literate depending on your proximity to privilege), and demented, and I use demented here in both the medical and mad-King Joffrey sense. Trump has no credibility and ironically as the leader of the Executive Branch has zero executive function.

Fine, you may say, we know this - as do the people in Trump’s orbit. And yet, Trump persists. Why?  Because Trump has nine lives, a reference to the belief that cats have nine lives due to their ability to always land on their feet. While Obama and people of color (POC) in America have to walk on ice and never fall. Trump glides, jumps, and somersaults on ice, now fortified by privilege, ensuring his near invincibility in situations that would KO a POC or woman.  

While reading Fire and Fury, it's important to step back and imagine Barack Obama or Hillary Clinton performing just 1% of Trump’s actions. Actually, there would be no book, or at least it wouldn’t be longer than 5 pages. Hillary’s 5th page would end in impeachment, Obama’s 3rd page would open with him in jail. 

Trump on the other hand will spend this evening Trump sitting in his White House bedroom pounding back McDonalds cheeseburgers, washing them down with a jumbo Diet Coke, and watching the three TVs installed in his room. 

The poetry writes itself - the most disliked President in modern history spends every night looking for signs of being liked on national media. 

Reading the book's portrayal of the President led me to ask:

How did we get here? Why does Trump have 9 lives? Does he matter?

The answer to all 3 questions lie in Ta-Nehisi Coates’ excellent piece “The First White President.”

In reading "Fire and Fury”, you see how white privilege offers perpetual do-overs and assigns different grading scales to white men.

In this book, you learn that the only thing whiter than Trump’s administration is the supremacy that fuels it.  

2. Reality vs Fiction, Same Side of the Same Coin

Brace yourselves. A positive description of 45 is coming. One of 45’s chief talents is his ability to construct reality around him. Conviction, courage, and a twinge of dementia is all Trump needs to unequivocally state that 1+1 = Trump.  After all, algebra and arithmetic are inventions of the Arab world and when America is great again that pesky algebra will be sent back to ISIS rebel camps (court decision pending). 

Fire and Fury plays loose with what is fact and what is fiction in ways that both seduce and elude the reader.  The author, Michael Wolff, says he conducted over 200 interviews with members of the administration and has audio tapes aka receipts. Now the Petty LaBelles among us know that audio, video footage and screenshots are the holy trinity of receipts. And a quick google search of Michael Wolff reveals that he is a veteran receipt collector and his receipts are longer than CVS’ during a sale.

Given his sheer number of receipts, Fire and Fury reads like a story where you’re immersed in the drama, popcorn in hand, eating up Bannon’s schemes and side-eyeing Jarvanka’s machinations (yes their couple name sounds like an endangered shark. I don't trust 'em). Still the question remains: How truthful is this book? What is real? What is fiction? Bob Mueller can you hear me?! I don’t have the answers, but I would argue that the specific details matter less, and what actually matters is the reality that Wolff painted and the progressive ideals this administration is systematically and effectively targeting (link, link, link). 

This brings me to Reality vs Fiction point 2. There were moments in Fire and Fury when I had to stop and ask myself is this real? Not because I didn’t believe the reality that Wolfe painted, but because that reality seemed more fantastical and absurd than a Lewis Caroll novel. Embattled former Press Secretary, Sean Spicer, is often quoted saying “you can’t make this shit up.” He’s right. You can’t. Fire and Fury makes Scandal seem like Law and Order.

By the middle of Fire and Fury, any iota of faith or strategic indifference you cultivated for this administration is gone. As a reader, you are forced to confront the feeling that your fictional imagination of The White House was perhaps a better, healthier, less stressful view.  

Point 3 of Reality vs Fiction deals with POTUS’ special power. Trump takes the phrase “speak it into existence” literally, literally (I suppose the average millennial will get this phrasing). Trump speaks and therefore it is.

Millions of people voted illegally.

His inauguration crowd was the largest ever. 

He wasn’t the voice on the Access Hollywood tape.

These are just some of Trump’s reality building assertions that then gain legitimacy. And because he is surrounded by adulating vultures, he isn't fact checked. And somewhere in middle America, a child learns 1+1 = Trump.  

The foremost author of our time once wrote:

She's 100% right in this. Words are imbued with magic. They are our primary mode of communication, and for this reason have immense power. Trump, empowered by the position he occupies, uses words loosely. He borrows the magic of words to build reality. And in this fictive-realistic space, US domestic and foreign policy decisions are made. In Fire and Fury, you see this process happen again and again. It’s fascinating, scary, and everything in between. 

Finally, the introduction of “alternative facts” and “fake news” into the national lexicon is emblematic of the Reality vs. Fiction battle that Trump and by extension his administration has embroiled America into. And now, with social media and its echo-chambers, one man’s reality is another man’s fiction. Common ground is somewhere in a 4th dimension tesseract or Van Jones' living room.  

3.  Make Trump Great Again

Fictive 45 Origin Story

On a non-descript summer night, Trump wakes up from a stress dream (only losers get nightmares). This dream was a recurring one, fueled by stress from his mounting debt to Russian oligarchs and a gnawing sense of insecurity, sparked by the Kenyan's trolling of him during the 2011 White House Correspondent’s Dinner. Inevitably, his dream ends the way they all do.  Donald takes the elevator to the top floor of Trump Tower with unobstructed views of New York City. When the gold plated private elevator door opens, he is greeted by an old familiar face. Trump asks his father the same question he asks in every dream. “Father, should I run for President?" This time, much to his surprise, instead of waking up at exactly this moment, Trump gets an answer: 

The next morning Donald Trump set out to boldly announce his biggest scam yet since Trump University. On June 16th, 2015, he announced his candidacy for President.

And the Make Trump Great Again campaign was born.  

Our Reality

Trump only cares about Trump. And underneath this non-mystery wrapped in an enigma, is a man who only cares about Trump. And a man who needs to be the center of attention. And a man who needs to be liked. And a man who’s beyond difficult, but it’s always someone else’s fault. 

People who believed that the presidency would change Trump were operating under the reasonable assumption that the full power and responsibility of the office would alter Trump’s behavior.

Fire and Fury buries that notion with fire and fury.

Now almost a year since his inauguration, we see that the presidency has not changed Trump.

Trump has changed the Presidency. 

And that might be the most frightening covfefe of all. This man is still in office. 

-Wahala Jr. 

Thank you for reading! Feel free to comment, share, and tell me what you think of Fire and Fury!